Things I Never Want To Hear Again

So we have reached the end of year another regular season of college football, and I must say I enjoyed it thoroughly. Of course, unless Auburn goes 0-11, that's pretty much a gimme. Still, it's been fun. Unfortunately, due to the fact that sportscasters and sportswriters have way too much time/space to kill during their weekly show or column, the same topics kept popping up over and over. So here are some things that I hope to not hear for at least another nine months.

1. LSU Having More Talent Than Everyone Else
So LSU finishes 10-2 (pre-bowl), won the SEC West by the skin of its teeth, and was blown out of the SEC Championship game by Georgia. Yes, there have been a few injuries. However, at some point, you have got to quit talking and actually play some games. Not one single game this season by LSU impressed me. After playing twelve games, you would think they would find some sort of consistency--especially with all that talent. Long story short, I'm still not a believer, and even if they had JaMarcus, they'd be damn lucky to make it out of Atlanta with a win over Miami, but then again, Miami hasn't been the model of consistency either.

2. LSU and the Words "Hurricane," "Katrina," or "Heart" in Any Combination.
Yeah, Katrina sucked. Yeah, it'll take a long time to get over it completely. But using it as an excuse? Nah. Better luck sticking with the "talent" angle. Just call me heartless.

3. The SEC Having Horrible Offenses
Let it go, people. They weren't pretty to start the season, but they got better. Auburn hit its groove, then Georgia caught on. Vandy put up some points, and even Arkansas and Kentucky managed to find the endzone a few times at the end of the year. And then, well, there was Alabama. Of course, I'm sure this is a sign of the defenses being weak, right? I guess it's only fair that it works both ways.

4. Bama's Horrible Offense
Haha. Sorry. I was just kidding. Yes, they are horrible and every time they take the field I'm sure Bear Bryant winces, but I can't get enough of it. And they really thought they could win a national championship? Delusions of grandeur. Let's try third in the SEC West.

5. New One-shoulder Nike Uniforms
These things kept popping up all over the place in high-profile games. Personally, I think they are ugly as sin. However, I'm tired of hearing commentators talk about the uniforms and not the game. This ain't a fashion show, fellas.

6. Michigan Being Overrated
I have been an avid Michigan defender all year, but everyone seems to want to bash them. I don't get it. Everyone recognizes the strength of the Big Ten this year, and Michigan's losses have come at the hands of Notre Dame, Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Ohio State by a total of 17 points. Any of those games could have gone either way. Need I remind you that Penn State is 10-1 for a reason--a Maize and Blue reason. The Wolverines can play with anyone at any time. Overrated--I think not.

7. Weak Non-Conference Schedules
Since when do we judge teams by their weakest opponents? This seems to be a new trend in college football, primarily because it was a convenient excuse to justify Auburn being kept out of the BCS Championship last year. I guess people heard it recited so much they assumed it must be fair. Without even going into last year, this is inherently unfair. The Pac-10 is a joke. After USC, the conference drops to UCLA and Oregon (two teams that would have at least three or four losses in the ACC, Big Ten, or SEC), and then falls like a rock to Cal, Arizona State, etc. If you're going to tell me that a Pac-10 (or Big XII) team can play cupcakes in its own conference and it's okay, but if you schedule those outside the conference it's not? Excuse me? Let's think about this a bit. What seems harder, playing four teams with ten wins or nine with five? Hmm. Well, if your team is good enough for the media to have employed this argument against you (or for you), you should have no problem dispatching with a five-win team. Hypothetically, if Washington State were to go 11-0, but every team they played was 6-5, can you look me in the eye and tell me that's more impressive than if Ole Miss were to go 11-0 and beat four one-loss teams and seven teams with four or more losses? No, you can't. At best, I'd listen if you argued it was a push due to the struggles of getting up against a decent opponent each week. I say, if you are never tested against the big boys, the mediocre ones don't matter. So I'm tired of it. A team is better or they aren't. Don't feed me this crap about playing the Citadel or Temple. Judge a team by who they beat that was worth a damn.

8. Conference Championship Games Need to be Abolished
Now, I have no problems with this argument when it's made intelligently. The problem comes in when there were, no lie, at least six articles within a twenty-four hour period on the topic. We all know the games are for the money. Saying they mean nothing is not true when you have a good conference (i.e. SEC, ACC). In the Big XII it simply amounts to padding your schedule. If you are the best team, you should have no problem winning your conference championship. If nothing else, it ensures that every team will have at least a moderate test somewhere in the season (unless, of course, the team comes from the Big XII North). The only way I could get rid of championship games is if every team played every other team in the conference during the regular season--none of this Big Ten Co-Champs crap. However, this move would signal the death of college football. If every conference has twelve teams and they each have to play each other, this leaves room for one non-conference game. I doubt too many of those match-ups would be thrilling. Most teams would want a breather from their conference schedule and the small schools would like to be able to earn a check to keep their program afloat. Smaller conferences and teams are likely to die without the funds they get for playing big schools. In addition, if the conferences only play each other (except for one game), then we have no idea how good any of these teams are. In theory, Texas is good this year. We have the Ohio State game to back that up. What if we didn't? Can you judge Texas solely by how it performs in the Big XII this year? Hypothetically, if the SEC produced lots of solid two-loss teams who for their non-conference games scheduled Arizona State, Florida State, and Notre Dame, and pulled off the wins, would that not be more impressive than an undefeated Texas in an unproven Big XII? In other words, I'm solidly against it, but mainly, I'm tired of hearing about it.

Well, that brings me to the end of my rants. I would not be opposed to a nice reprieve from these topics for a while. Any other topics, though, are completely fair game.